Corridor of Madness

Open yet another doorway into the Patently Absurd, by checking out this list of the "Worst analogies ever written in a high school essay" (via Discordian Research Technology News).

Featuring:

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
— Joseph Romm, Washington

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
— Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station