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Nick Mamatas on Movies These Days

This is just absolutely perfect:

'Going to the movies these days is not dissimilar to attending an extended performance art piece which involves several gorgeous people, all in wonderful if somewhat tasteless costume, wheeling a wheelbarrow full of raw, rancid bacon onto a stage. Handed pitchforks by sequined-spangled assistants, the costumed beauties grab hold tighly of the handles, stick the spears of the forks into the wheelbarrow, and then FLING the rancid bacon at the audience, all while screaming "EAT IT! EAT IT, YOU FUCKING PIGS! YOU FUCKING LOVE IT!" The audience leaps to action, scrambling along the aisles and trying to grab up and shove as much of the foul bacon into their fat mouths as they can, stopping only to look up at the performers, point to their stuffed cheeks, and mumble through tangles and blobs of rancid meat, "YUTH YUTH AH FUFF ITH!" The stars sneer and howl, "THAT'S RIGHT, YOU JOWLY MOTHERFUCKERS, GOBBLE IT UP, AND SHIT YOURSELVES IN GLEE!" When the meat runs out, the show is over.' (Nick Mamatas' Journal entry)
Finally, something allows me to justify uttering the infamous acronym: LMAO!